The 7 most horrible horror movies

We’ve watched them and it’s almost cost us our lives. We were trained in all classes of horror, but we weren’t expecting this. Here you’ll find blood that spurts before the blade sinks in, dialogues consisting in a mere shriek forgotten by actors, cameras that don’t point at where the action is, cameras that point at where the action is and make you miss when they weren’t pointing at it, music that doesn’t follow, well, anything, and a lot more gimmicks that make them really enjoyable.
They’re a perfect plan for a rainy Sunday afternoon. Just make some popcorn and be ready to throw it at the screen. Or shout every time you discover an inconsistency: you’ll shout yourself hoarse.They’re a perfect plan for a rainy Sunday afternoon. Just make some popcorn and be ready to throw it at the screen. Or shout every time you discover an inconsistency: you’ll shout yourself hoarse.

 

7. Plan 9 from Outer Space

This is widely known as the best worst movie ever. It has a solid 4 at imdb, which might make you think it’s a decent movie, but don’t worry, there are plenty of times you’ll have to remember this is not a parody but a serious movie. Ed Wood, the Tim Burton’s movie, has made a lot for Plan 9.

6. Manos

Plan 9 is to Ed Wood as Manos is to How I Met Your Mother. But before Ted Mosby had nightmares with the quality of the movie, there was Mystery Science Theater 3000, which made a very successful episode about it. If you want to watch it, it’s the full movie with acid commentaries.

5. Dracula 3000

We’re not talking about the very bad Dracula 2000: this is 1000 times worse. We’ve got a cast with famous people (Erika Eleniak, Coolio, yes, seriously, as serious as Casper van Dien as Captain Van Helsing) and some money for CGI (it’s 2004). All of it’s wasted.

4. Birdemic:Shock and Terror

How a movie like Birdemic gets done is something unexplainable. But what is really mind-blowing is that it has a sequel! Remember the exquisite fear, the chills you got watching Hitchcock’s The Birds? Well, none of that.

3. Jurassic Shark

Shark nowadays are all the rage. There are so many bad shark movies that is really difficult to pick one. We’ve got the famous Sharknado and its sequels, but before, during and after the bad shark sub-sub-sub genre was well established with gems like Jurassic Shark, Mega-Shark vs. Crocosaurus, Sharktopus and many others.

2. House of the Dead.

Here you’ve got everything you expect from a bad movie, but in relentless mode. Seriously, there is not a single good scene. It makes you wonder if some genius has put a lot of effort in making something so bad, because it’s impossible that mere incompetence can produce such a movie. And the dialogue: “Why do you want to become immortal?” “To live forever”.

Priceless.

1. Kartoffelsalat

After this string of unbelievable movies, it was difficult to choose the worst horror movie ever, so we let imdb do it for us. The lowest ranking horror movie ever is this German masterpiece, with a smashing score of 1.2. I have noticed that European films usually get 1 point above Hollywood pieces, that is, if a movie should have, say, a 6, if it’s European it gets a 7. In this case, it’s totally true.

Here you have the trailer


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