These 7 rock stars will guide you through Hell

Hard rock and Hell have a close relationship. This is Hell’s favorite soundtrack.

Many metal songs talk about Hell, about how the performers or the audience or just everyone is going to end up there. But don’t worry too much: it doesn’t sound that bad; at least, there will be plenty of good music.

This is our ranking of hellish performers:

7. Brian Johnson

Brian Johnson and Bon Scott have both sung one of the most famous Hell anthems ever: Highway to Hell

6. Dee Snider, Burn in Hell. Clock

Maybe his Extreme Glam Metal style was a bit scary back in the day, but you have to admit that either on Earth or in Hell he will always be fun.

5. Dave Mustaine. Go to Hell

He looks like one of the best infernal mentors you could dream of, especially if there is alcohol involved.

4. Sammy Hagar. The Planets on Fire.

What else do you need if you’re going to spend some time in Hell? Good music, booze and he knows his way around a kitchen. But careful or you might experience Hell in your mouth with Mad Anthony’s Hot Sauce.

3. Ozzy Osbourne & Lemmy Kilmister. HellRaiser

Hell can wait. Ozzy has been there three or four times and he’s always managed to come back. He’s like the Phoenix of rock stars. So if you value experience, he might be your perfect companion down there. And what about Lemmy? There’s a myth around that his blood was diagnosed as toxic for any other human being, but not for him; in fact, a transfusion of healthy blood would kill him. We don’t know if this is true, but it seems plausible.

2. Alice Cooper. Go to Hell

Singer, writer, actor, radio host, golf and music teacher… What else can you ask for? He also has a lot of experience beheading people like Britney Spears or Paris Hilton.

1. Rob Flynn. I am Hell

Rob doesn’t look much like a people person. And if he comes with his friends from Machine Head, you better hide. No shame in it: even the King of Hell hides from them.

EDIT: A few days after this post was published, Lemmy died, or that’s what the papers said. For rock stars, death is a temporary state, so we’re sure we’ll see him again

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